A Knock On The Door

It was dark, but the air around me was warm, and I felt calm.
There was nothing different about this day apart from the dusty sky and the muffled silence.

But as I had entered the kitchen, I heard a noise that I didn't think I would here ever again,
a knock on the door. My body tensed and I could feel my heart thumping faster in my chest, so fast that It grew sore.
Not even blindness could save me from opening that door. My heart was blind for as long as I chose to refuse repairing it.
I haven't yet done what I should have done long ago, I didn't leave him behind like modern wisdom advised.

"But who survived on modern wisdom?" I couldn't think of one person that I knew.

The knock on the door still haunts me, either past or present, I guarantee it always will.
I gathered up my strength and gave my fears a pathetic look. The door handle was cold, and as I turned it,
I peered out the crack. It was him.

I opened it.

His eyes looked sincere. As if the scales he wore over them had finally peeled off.
"Hello, what are you doing here?" I asked. "I need to tell you something important." He looked at me square in the eyes, I wasn't used to such forward sincerity.
I agreed to listen, and I let him inside.

Suddenly he came towards me, he grabbed both of my hands gently, and I could feel his warm skin, it had been so long since I felt the warmth of those hands, longer then I wanted to admit. He looked right at me, and I felt his blue eyes pierce through mine, but I couldn't look away. I felt my chin tilt up, my jaw dropped slightly, I must have looked more dazed than a child. I couldn't believe or understand what was driving him to be here.

He opened his mouth, and spoke firmly, but I could almost taste the hint of desperation on my own tongue. It was a moment for a cello,  that moment for a violin, something sharp but strong, like the bubbly taste of gin, burning my body. But I had none of these things, the music was silent, the moment was bare of it, and my emotions screamed louder in my head then any instrument could.

"I'm so sorry, for everything, I'm sorry. I know I did wrong, I know I made the biggest mistake of my life, to treat you like I did. Please, please understand how sorry I am, I want to make things right, please forgive me...please"

I could feel salty tears warm my face, and a fire burned in my gut. My heart didn't want to feel a thing, so it turned it's face away, but I kept myself frozen in front of him. I couldn't look away, I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. My mouth must have broken from this trance, because I felt myself crack a smile. I laughed gently, pouring tears out like a river when the dam I had built finally broke.

I reached for him, and wrapped my arms around him, I was plastered to him, as if he came back from the dead. In some ways, I believed he did. I could smell him, I could taste the feelings on my tongue. I could feel his heart beat, it was beating faster then mine. I couldn't let go, I was scared that if I did, he would vanish, and I think he felt the same way, because he couldn't let go either.

I whispered in his ear, "I forgave you a long time ago, sweetheart, you should know I'd never want to hold a grudge over you. I love you too much, I love you so much..."

He kissed the top of my head, and told me the same.




And then I woke up, and the ceiling stared down at me, saying good-morning once again to the emptiness.